I guess.

Assalamualaikum.

Pernah tak korang rasa situasi ni, bila mana kawan kau suka kau tapi kau tak suka dia.

Pernah?

Kau tau situasi di mana ada orang suka kau tapi kau tak suka dia. Kau pulak jenis yang kalau tak suka, cakap depan depan kau tak suka. Kalau suka tu, hmph lautan api pun sanggup kau redah hahahahahha choi!.

Benda ni jadi masa aku darjah satu. Classmate aku suka aku. Well, frankly speaking, dia boleh tahan comel la. Muka macam jepun jepun sikit. Debab debab sikit. Pengawas. And very helpful too.

Tapi since aku tak berapa nak berkenan dengan budak ni, I don't give a damn hahahahhaa. Honestly aku tak perasan pun sampai lah ada satu masa ni, kawan kakak aku cakap kat aku, dia minat lelaki tu sebab dia bla bla bla (rujuk perenggan atas) dekat aku. Masa tu lah aku baru perasan huehuehue.

Dia minat aku daripada darjah 1 sampai darjah 6. Hahahahahha cinta kudus. Kudus lah sangat. Menggatal eh kecik kecik lagi dah pandai. Tapi macam suci jugak lah kot sebab darjah 1 what do you expect aku nak melawa pergi sekolah? No way maaan. Mesti selekeh punya. Confirm dengan hingus meleleh leleh. Bawak botol air mineral besar. Bawak beg penuh buku teks hahahahhahaha Ya Allah ada jugak orang nak suka aku.

Aku tak suka budak ni sebab dia selalu usya aku. Ewah perasan! hahahahha! TAPI! TAPI! Cuba kalau ada orang usya kau, confirm kau perasan punya kan! Mesti rasa macam di perhatikan setiap gerak geri kau. Kau di perhatikan. Susah kot nak gerak. Tak selesa. haha. Aku ingat lagi, dia pernah bagi aku surat cinta. Surat cinta beb! kahkahkah. Tapi malangnya aku dah tak ingat apa yang dia tulis dalam tu. Kalau ingat sure boleh bahan hahahahaha. And ada sekali tu, dia bagi aku hadiah. Tapi.... tapi.... aku buang terus dalam tong sampah depan mata dia. Uish kejam jugak aku dulu hahahaha. Tapi nak buat macam mana kalau dah tak suka. Takkan nak buat buat suka. Ye dak? he he he.

Okay cerita manis boleh potong jari mamat tu tak berakhir dengan patahnya hati dia bila aku buang hadiah tu. Haaaaa nampak gigih lelaki ni?

Aku pernah sound dia, (marah depan depan) suruh jangan suka aku. Like seriously aku buat hahahahahha bengong. To that extent nailah? Ya Rabbiii. Tapi lelaki tu jawab, noooo tak boleh dia tak boleh tak suka aku (means kena suka jugak). Anyonyonyo. *muntah*

Dia bagi aku surat lagi. Yassss! Another love letter. Ngawwwwww sho shweeet tapi aku buang terus jugak. I don't give a f*ck. Selepas kejadian tu, maybe dia rasa aku betul betul tak suka dia, dia hentikan pemberian hadiah or anything dekat aku. Tapi macam biasalah, benda yang tersirat mesti ada.

Contoh;

1. Kalau cikgu sebut nama aku je, nanti kawan kawan dia sebut nama aku (eleh biasalah tu kan time sekolah)

2. Kalau dah hantar kerja sekolah dan cikgu nak pulangkan buku balik, dia yang akan bagi buku aku straight dekat tangan aku. Tangan means tangan ye. Bukan atas meja ataupun tinggalkan dalam laci bersama gula gula haha. No No. Atas tangan.

3. Sebab rumah aku dekat dengan sekolah (walking distance), kalau hujan, aku akan tunggu hujan berhenti baru balik rumah. And mamat tu akan tunggu aku sampaaai aku balik. Ngawwwww again =..=

4.

Dah lah geli pulak aku hahahaha.

Benda ni berlarutan sampai aku darjah 6. Yes. Darjah 6. Even time aku Form 1 pun ada lagi cebis cebis suka dia kat aku. Nak number phone la, tanya sekolah kat mana la, dapat berapa A UPSR la.

Sejak benda ni aku fikir, "Kalau orang tu dah tak suka, you better off instead waiting for her to accept your pure and true love"

Well, it's easy to be said than done.

People say, "Love needs sacrifices"

Yes. It's true. And it's hard. F*cking hard!

Maybe he tried very hard to sacrifice his feelings for me while I'm as happy as a bird not even think about him how hard it was. Now I felt very sorry. But I think he might already move on from all this cheesy things about me. Kot, sebab dia sampai fikir nak kahwin dengan aku and nak ada berapa anak =..= wadehek.

Tapi kau tak boleh paksa orang yang kau suka tu, suka kau balik

and

Kau tak boleh paksa diri kau untuk suka orang yang admire kau.

Damn complicated.

That's one.

Another one, was a friend of mine also from primary school.

He likes me, but unfortunately, I already fell in love with the love of my life.

He even asked me out.

He even bought me a scarf from Kelantan and came to UIA to pass me the scarf. But I refuse to meet him that time.

Kejam betul seketul nailah. Masya Allah.

Even though I treated him that way, he keeps coming back. But I pushed him away. Away from me. Far far away. I mistreated him.

Tapi ye la weh, aku geli hahahahhaha. Aku sekolah sama dengan dia. Aku duduk sebelah dia time sekolah dulu. Bertepuk bertampar, maki maki. Tiba tiba nak ada special relationship dengan aku? Kau rasa? Yes, GELI! NO WAAAYYYY! GELI! Dah la mak dia ustazah aku. Kawan je dah la. Tak payah nak ada special relationship. Titik.

Tapi apa yang aku buat, aku mengaku, kasar and tak sepatutnya aku buat. Hm.

I wish there is no payback time or even karma hits me hard on the face.

I can't even imagine to live without the one that I love the most or

he tells me to get off his face and don't coming back. And it's called sacrifices.

No, I'm not that strong to sacrifice. But, I did that to another person and I don't even give a damn about their feelings.

Well, maybe I failed to handle my shits properly but I get through anyway.

Lesson learnt; if someone likes you very hard and you're not at the same boat, tell him straight away before anything happens. Before he thinks that you liked him the way he likes you. Tell him in a proper manner.

I guess.